Overture: Planet Claire.

As the intro plays, voice over of sci-fi voice over man:

In the middle years of the 20^th century, in the middle of the continent known as the United States of America, a quiet, unassuming,- even insignificant- small, sleepy town known as ‘Middlesville’ was quietly and sleepily going about its rather insignificant small town business…

Zelma

Wow, gee! Things sure are sleepy around here.

Waldo

You said it.

Gilly

I wish something would happen to shake up this insignificant and unassuming small town!

Zelma

Hey, let’s drive out to the Bates Motel and see what’s happening over there?

Waldo

Or maybe pay a call on Old Man Bundy?

Alvin

(sings) Heartbreak hotel.  He ain’t nothing but a hound dog.

Gilly

Well - lets all dance anyhow, seeing as the intro is now concluded.

Teenagers dance in a 50s retro way, halfway through, some aliens (various outlandish costumes) come on and join in.

SCENE ONE:

A devastated room, furniture upturned, chaos: All characters enter and stare around at the mess.

Waldo

This looks like the work of… giant Ants!

Zelma

Or maybe their parents left their teenage sons alone for the weekend.

Gilly

Are we going to dance again - seems like I haven’t got my breath back from the last one!

Zelma

Before we do, we ought to establish our characters, so the audience can relate to us and feel sorry when we get chopped.

Waldo

Good point Zelma - they ought to empathise with our sad fate.

Gilly

Oh, well; as they can see very easily, I am way more attractive than you Zelma, but not in an annoying or big headed persona, so’s the folks in television land can still love me, as well as fancying the pants off me.

Zelma

Uhmmmmm. No, not big headed, not a cheap little floozy that tries to get in any man’s pants.

Gilly

Of course, when you say ‘pants’ you mean ‘trousers’ as we are in USA, not ‘pants’ as in England.

Waldo

And I am the over looked and ignored genius, who although not conventionally handsome…

Alvin

Are you lonesome tonight?

Zelma

I think Alvin is self explanatory. Let’s let the audience work out the rest - here comes another dance routine.

‘Love shack’ reworded here: Space Rox theme song

If you see a faded sign on the side of the moon that says fifteen years to the space rocks

Space rocks yeah, yeah

I’m heading down the Galactic Milky way

Looking for the love to get away

Heading for the space getaway (repeat)

I’ve got me a ship,  its as big as a moon & we’re heading on down to the space rox

A

I got me a starship

It seats more than twenty so hurry up and bring your

Star trek phaser

The space rock is a little old place where we can get together

Space rocks bay-by

Space rocks baby! Space rocks baby space rox ( repeat)

Space rocks baby.

Space baby that’s where it’s at

Space rocks baby

Space rocks baby! Space rocks

Space rocks baby.

Sign says ‘stay away fools’ ’cos love rules in the space rock

Its set way back in the middle of a TRIP

Just a funky little ROCK and I gotta get back

Glitter on the matrix 

Glitter on the highway

Glitter on the Force field (, etc. Rpt)

The space rox is a little old place where

We can get together

Chorus

Hugging and a kissing dancing and a loving

Wearing next to nothing cos it’s hotter than an oven

The whole ship shimmies (repeat) when everybody’s moving around

Everybody’s moving, everybody’s grooving

Folks lining up outside just to get down

(Repeat A)

Funky little ship, cosmic little mover

Bang bang on the gun baby

Bang a little louder sugar

Bang bang on the gun baby

I can’t hear you

Bang bang

You’re what?

To the tune of ‘love shack’ all characters dance, basically same lyrics but change ‘Love shack’ to Space Rocks, etc as above.

Alvin

…….I’m all shook up.

Gilly

Is it love that I’m feeling?

Alvin

I’m itching like a bug on a fuzzy tree. (sings rest of song quietly until Waldo speaks)

Zelma

CRAZY.

Waldo

Lotsa things haven’t been adding up lately around these parts.

Zelma

Just what exactly are you driving at, Waldo?

Waldo

Well, just for example, my own father didn’t recognise me the other day.

Gilly

Gosh! Gee willikers! Tell us just exactly what happened, Waldo!

Waldo

WELL, I was at the Piggly Wiggly, picking up the groceries, and when I came out, I bumped into my Pop. Hey, Dad, watch out, I go. He says:

Dad

(in pink spotlight) I am not wearing a watch.

Waldo

Huh? So I say- hey, Dad- how come you’re here any how? Why aintcha at work?