Suggested music/dance: ‘SWAY’ Perez Prado feat. Rosemary Clooney from “Music to Watch Girls by” CD

Midway through dance:

Zelma:

Is this a prequel or a sequel? Just so I’ve got it straight in my mind.

Gilly:

Well, actually it’s a sequel, but like Star Wars, it’s billed as a prequel.

Waldo:

Wait, you guys- some of the audience didn’t see Space Rox - more fool them - so they need to have a back story which explains us and helps them to identify with us.

Alvin:

In the latter years of the late Twentieth Century, a group of plucky youngsters devote themselves to Ghost busting, and wearing the same outfits continually.

Waldo:

Yeah - what’s with that? I don’t even like these trousers and I’ve been wearing them constantly for the past ten years!

Frilly:

And can I have more lines than last time? I felt my part was just tragically underwritten, as I am clearly the Courtney Cox character. In fact I am way more cute than my bossy and clearly ‘has–been’ older sister. I hope she gets killed first in this episode.

Ted:

And I get some lines in this adventure, whereas last time, I just posed.

Zelma:

Probably better that you don’t speak, Ted. Shame to spoil it. After all, it’s not your brains we brought you along for.

Gilly:

So where are we this time? We do not seem to be in Middlesville, our sleepy and insignificant small mid-west town.

Waldo:

You are in fact correct Gilly. We have travelled by Kooky Mobile to this Deep South locale, complete with Spanish Moss and eerie swamp noises.

Noises of crickets, weird birds, frogs, and... stuff.

Zelma:

(sings) ‘My momma done told me, when I was in pigtails’, etc.; ‘Blues in the night’, Eva Cassidy among others

Frilly:

Are we going to have to eat chittluns, hash browns, grits and black eyed peas?

Alvin:

Don’t be cruel, etc.

Gilly:

I was wondering when Alvin was going to manifest his curious tendency to sing all the time.

Ted:

What are ‘grits’ anyhow?

Zelma:

Never mind that now - we didn’t come to the Deep South and risk malaria and alligator bites to discuss menus.

Frilly:

Gee Zelma- just why exactly DID we travel the length of the land- and by the way, how do we get the money to pay for the fuel?

Waldo:

Hmm. Fascinating questions Frilly. Also – how come we never go to school? And where’s our folks at?

Ted:

Isn’t it about time we danced again? That way we distract the audience from such puzzling inaccuracies and blatant inconsistencies.

ROAM here. Or ‘Pop Muzik’ by M. Or a quick burst of ‘Grimly Fiendish’ by The Damned here. Dance interrupted by black-suited, white-faced sinister character, the sinister Uncle Rebus.

Rebus:

Hey, you pesky kids, if you hadn’t happened along and started snooping around I might have got away with it.

Kids:

Got away with what?

Rebus:

Oops! Got a bit ahead of myself there. Let’s pretend like I never said that.

Kids:

OK Uncle Rebus.

Zelma:

Why don’t you tell us why you called us here, to this remote and sinister ruin, set amid alligator infested swamps?

Waldo:

It sure is creepy- and right next door to a Lunatic Asylum, packed full of dangerous potential axe murderers.

Ted:

Are we going to have to paddle there in a leaky canoe, and then find ourselves trapped there overnight as our canoe mysteriously vanishes?

Rebus:

Natch. Are we gonna bother with the canoe sequence? Could be a staging problem, as we do not want to flood this venue and fill it with mist from our frankly past it smoke machine… plus it makes my eyes water and my make up will run.

Frilly:

Aw gee! I was looking forward to that physical theatre section. See, we wear the canoe, and it has this fun mime routine, where we pretend to paddle, (acts this as she speaks) and point to all the festoons of moss and the floating logs, that turn out to be alligators eyeing us hungrily from the stinking waters.

Alvin:

Burning love (or similar ‘hungry’ lyrics) or ‘A little less conversation’? ‘A big hunk of love?

This could be where the longer length Elvis’ number is performed

Gilly:

Uncle Rebus, tell us why you sent for us please, as the audience are desperate to get the plot details sorted out. After all, they like a spoof to have SOME kind of conventional dialogue and storyline.

See how thoughtful and caring I am audience? Aren’t you hoping it is not ME that gets it in scene three?

Rebus:

Oh well, Ok. The plot so far: (turns to audience) Rebus, their sinister uncle in the Deep Southern remote town of Creepville, has sent for the intrepid ghost-busting crew to solve the mystery of the Cat and the Canary. (pause) Actually that’s all I know, as the author hasn’t worked out the rest. Let’s just make it up as we go along. I must say though, some of you kids sure are attractive, and it is a darn shame that you have to come to the grisly end that I’ve planned. In fact, I am now regretting sending for you, as my plan was working out nicely, and why I sent for you at all is the biggest mystery of all.

Dance to ‘It’s a Mystery’ by Toyah here. Start off with this version and segue into original for the ending.